A Moment Of Clarity

Do you know when something happens and you get a moment of crystal clear clarity that puts everything into perspective and was more or less an epithany.

I was speaking with my ex wife who is the mother of my kids (just in case you were wondering) about something totally unrelated to my ex partner. Some how we got on to the subject of weight, possibly as she asked me how I was doing, I told her that people keep saying I'm still losing weight and my ex wife said that she needs to lose a bit too and that she will be starting again from Monday.

I just happened to be on her Facebook page and I looked at a photo of her and guess what... I paid my ex wife a complement, I said to her

"You're still a bloody good looking woman, and you've got a great figure".

Yes I did say that, anyway back to the reason for this entry.

I was on the train to work when a thought struck me, I looked once more at my ex wife's photos and even after all the years we've been split, I know there has been crap between us, but she is definitely a very attractive woman, whilst I was on my Facebook account, I wondered about a previous ex from 2008 (yes I've had a good few relations), and after looking at her photo, yes she has had her problems with different things but I still think she's a very attractive woman too.

Then it struck me, and struck me hard... I looked at my recent ex's photo both on facebook and on my phone (NOW DELETED) and thought...

"What the fuck did I ever see in you!!!" "You're not attractive and you're nothing but a geezer bird"!!!

When we split up in the very beginning of the relationship, I should have just kept walking and not looked back that way things would have been a lot different.

Thinking back over the past two and a half years, I'm left thinking what a waste of two and a half years I'll never get back...